WEIRD ANIMAL

There’s no way past trauma that doesn’t move through it. You hope the healing won’t be as awful as the original pain, but pain is unavoidable in recovery. Likewise there’s no way to make art about trauma and recovery that doesn’t include ugliness. If healing work were always palatable or painless, nobody would call it work.

“Weird Animal” is about both the causes and effects of sexual trauma. The song’s glossy outward surface belies the inward cruelty of relationships where this kind of damage occurs. 

My decision to tell this unredeemed part of my story was inspired by Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye.” I know of no other portrayal of prolonged trauma’s effects that is as clear or devastating. There is no hope for Pecola at the end of the book — not every survivor’s story ends in triumph. If there’s any hope at all for the reader, it lies in the fact that Morrison had the heart and the skill to tell the story, to transform horror into art. 

Being a bummer is not the point of telling agonizing stories. Nobody sings the blues to make everyone feel worse. The hope is that the song will help everyone feel a little less alone.